1. |
Undress 2 Impress
03:24
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The job market's
got me blue
these days its pretty hard to get an
interview
but I've got a trick
just to make an impression
get into that room and get undressin'
6 figure 6 pack
If I want a job
I can't show up lookin like a slob
oh god I want out of this slump
I gotta
hit the gym just to get a quick pump
Undress 2 impress
set myself apart from the rest
I've gotta prove that I'm the best
Undress 2 impress
My resume is lookin thin
good thing I'm staying fit and trim
I might not have a job
but at least I've got my bod
6 figure 6 pack
If I want a job
I can't show up lookin like a slob
Oh god I want out of this slump
I gotta
hit the gym just to get a quick pump
Undress 4 success
set myself apart from the rest
I've gotta prove that I'm the best
Undress 2 impress
Shavasana
Bakasana
won't you be my boss yeah
Warrior 1 and warrior 2
I really wanna work for you
Shavasana
Bakasana
won't you be my boss yeah
Warrior 1 and warrior 2
I really wanna work for you
Undress 2 impress
Woah Woah
Undress 2 impress
Woah Woah
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2. |
Backseat Biggie
03:36
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She's got a job she's gotta get up early
we're unemployed so fuck it we're tourin'
When the van breaks down
In this hick town
We need a savior
I think I've been too long in Biggie's backseat
cause I'm gettin fuckin' sick of hearing Miley Cyrus
With that country twang
these songs don't bang
why call them bangers?
I think I've been too long in Biggie's backseat
with this audiobook about Harry Potter
more dead than alive
hearin' bout Privit Drive
in Biggie's backseat
Yeah she's very sweet
but I can't feel my feet
in Biggie's backseat
Yeah she's very sweet
but I can't feel my feet
in Biggie's backseat
That's why they call her
Backseat Biggie
Backseat Biggie
Backseat Biggie
Biggie's got backseat
She drove 4 hours out past Clear Lake
Didn't even know what road to take
and just her luck
four ungrateful fucks
in Biggie's backseat
We got so desperate we sought rides on Tinder
Almost had to sacrifice poor Renner
to some guy named Mike
who would give us a bike
in exchange for a loveboy
Yeah she's very sweet
but I can't feel my feet
in Biggie's backseat
Yeah she's very sweet
but I can't feel my feet
in Biggie's backseat
Little does she know
We've got Molly Steve in tow
he's got two suitcases filled
just to keep the people pilled
now she's a drug runner
That's why they call her
Backseat Biggie
Backseat Biggie
Backseat Biggie
Biggie's got backseat
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3. |
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Have you seen it?
The Phantom of the Houseshow
The bloody stain
The fans are to blame
I've seen all your bands
your Virga your Kaz
they all had fucked up fans
perverts I'm sure
Have you seen it?
the bloody phantom
The Phantom of the Houseshow
They all had bad names
like Virga or Kaz
they all sounded the same
they all sounded so lame
I took the money
donated at the door
I wanted it more
I needed it more
For luxury goods
To buy some sandals
and sick sunglasses
Nose up on my high horse
I can't see the haters
sleepin thru your set
I'll catch that shit later
you've been talkin' shit about my fit because it's fuckin' sick
yeah you know it's sick
sunglasses and sandals
I'm a phantom lookin so wavy
you're a fuck boy rockin' Old Navy
You're a jam band
your're a dead head
got your text message
left you on read.
Now I'm swagged out from my shoppin' spree
you've been hatin' on a prophesy
livin in a cave
down a dark stream
is this real life
or is it a sex dream?
Cause I'm pissed off just like I'm swagged out
face is fucked up but I've still got clout
I'm a phantom
yeah I blow clouds
fuckin maestro
yeah I roll loud
Have you seen it?
the bloody phantom
The Phantom of the Houseshow
Silverlake Landlord
that's what he's doin
he's got lotsa money
money from family
It helps
it helps him to rock and roll
all night
alright
as a
Silverlake Landlord
so give him your money kid
I don't want your love
I just want your money
I don't want your love
I just want you to love me
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4. |
Superstar
04:11
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Maybe the reason
everyone thinks that you're an asshole
is that you are...
...A SUPERSTAR!
screamin' in the car
pump it up
fuck it up
yeah
you know who you are
scream along
to the song
I know I'm a superstar
and all the little people
saying it's not true
have no clue
They say
you're a malignant narcissist
a borderline sociopath
who relies on violence
when questioned on your authority
but baby it seems to me
actually in reality
you're a superstar
screamin' in the car
pump it up
fuck it up
yeah
you know who you are
scream along
to the song
I know I'm a superstar
I'm a superstar
screamin in the car
pump it up
fuck it up
yeah
you know who you are
scream along
to the song
I know I'm a superstar
a superstar
fucked up at the bar
takin shots
harassin thots
passed out in the car
throwin down
to the sound
I know Ima superstar
Superstar
superstar
superstar
superstar...
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5. |
Dave M.
03:45
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Got a show
but we ain't got no songs
to write them all would take too long
lookin for an easy way out
time travel
what's that about?
Went to the future and stole our own songs
hey
what could go wrong?
Only now do I realize
I'm the reason we're all
vaporized
The sky is black and the earth is gray
I don't think the sun will rise today
I'm the last of my kind and it's all my fault
entered the void
opened a vault
and crazy creatures
from time and space
came through to erase
the human race
(interlude)
Dave Mathews
in all of my dreams
I don't know
what that could mean
don't know much but I do know this
his technique has got me pissed
He travels through time
but he does it safely
what's the difference between Dave and me?
He travels through time but he does it safely
I guess I doomed humanity
because I can't sing
Crash Into Me.
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6. |
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7. |
Kale Party
04:07
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These are the graves of the petulant perverts
who stood up against us
I've built a wall of skulls
and everybody know
those who dare oppose
will be used to fill the
holes
KALE party tonight
you can bring your pain
and leave satisfied
you'll never see it again
Cause you know that special feelin'
when you're listenin'
to the best band at the house show
baby you're gonna win
even if you're a loser
These are the tears of the
Sad sac singers
who didn't understand
how to love my band
I have put them in a moat
and your excuses will not float
for I have filled it up with gators
R.I.P.
Haters
KALE Party tonight
you can bring your friends
we've got chips and dip
the hummus never ends
Cause you know that special feelin'
when you're listenin'
to the best band at the whole world
baby you're gonna win
even if you're a loser
All you lonesome losers
come on down
KALE's gonna make it right
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8. |
The Scene Still Sucks
06:11
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Now I'm not the kinda guy
to sit around and cry
about the way things used to be
back when the shows were full of punks
narcissistic drunks
who would come round
and smoke your weed
yeah, I guess he's still around
28, livin' in a college town
beer cans strewn around the yard
softboy smoker stubs his cigarette in the chard
At the end of the day
I'm happy to say
the scene
still sucks
the scene
still sucks
Now I knew a girl named Amy
Whose songs could really slay me
but the pressure was more than she could take
the enablers and the drugs
I would have surrounded her with hugs
too bad she was with
that jerk Blake
And in that daned year 2011
at 27 yeah you know she went to heaven
And don't forget the paparazzi
I'd say in general their behavior was quite naughty
At the end of the day
I'm happy to say
the scene
still sucks
the scene
still sucks
Now I knew a Palestinian
who rolled with like 12 minions
and some say his papa was god
he could play a righteous tune
you know
really pack a room
and on top of that he had
a rockin bod
A singer
guitarist
and a showman
real triple threat
especially to a roman
So they had him crucified
he wrote this refrain
just a day before he died:
"At the end of the day
I'm happy to say
the scene
still sucks
the scene
still sucks"
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K.A.L.E.
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